Either you go, you’ve been, or you don’t believe in them, but whichever the circumstance, you can’t tell me that you haven’t heard of them. They’re everywhere. Pretty soon there will be a mini gym connected to every Starbucks.
What I like: Going to the gym is a lot safer than running outdoors. Going for a run or bike ride outside on the street, or even at a park, is like asking for danger. I don’t know if I’ll ever be old enough to not fall for the ole “Want to see the cute puppy eating lollipops in my van?” trick.
And let’s be honest, how fun are all of the exercise machines? Watching people who are confused try to use them, and using them yourself. They make you feel sort of powerful, or like you’re training to be a super hero or to be in a Kung Foo movie. Oh, and the fashion is great! There is no better way to know what you were up to in 1998 than looking at your T-shirt.
The gyms on college campuses are even better. The people don’t go to work out; they go in groups and make it a social event. I don’t think they realize that watching five friends bench press before their own six reps is a little counter productive. But hey, I’ll still be impressed when you tell me you spent 3 hours at the gym today. Even though I really know that you actually only worked out for 30 minutes, and spent the other two and a half hours watching other dudes pump iron and talking about the latest Daughtry CD.
And finally, I love that gyms give you a good reason to own an I pod (one of the only reasons really) and at the same time give you a legitimate excuse to download and listen to other wise embarrassing and merit less music. “Hey, it’s great workout music!”
Things I would change: Gyms are pretty disgusting when you stop and think about it. Even once you talk yourself past the fact that you’re probably going to get ring worm (there are creams for that, right?) and that the hip abductor probably has herpes (not as good of creams for that), then you’ve still got to worry about whether or not you’re ready to take the immune system plunge of using an abs/yoga mat. I mean, everyone uses those wipes, every time, right?
I don’t like that the locker rooms are totally awkward (Ok, I like it a little bit). Boys don’t have to take off their boxers, or put on a sports bra. I’ll never get used to walking into the locker room and seeing a butt naked girl, I always feel like I’ve accidentally walked into the wrong dressing room at the mall. And no, it’s never the attractive girls that don’t need to be at the gym in the first place. It is always the girls that do need to be at the gym that are the naked ones. Maybe they’re new and don’t understand the system of changing in the bathroom stall, or at least behind a half closed shower curtain like a middle schooler still embarrassed about her Little Mermaid underwear would. Or maybe they just want to feel liberated and make the most of their gym experience, because it more than likely won’t last. But whatever the case, it’s uncomfortable, and when I have to graze past your butt to get to my locker and pretend like I’m not looking (of course I am), I’m weirded out.
I could do without the personal trainers at the gym also. They’re usually only used when someone first starts out at a gym and gets their free introductory personal training sessions. The rest of the time they’re standing there looking buff, and watching you, just waiting to tell you (or at least think about) how your squats will hurt your knees and your pull-ups look more like you’re trying to do the worm in the air (mine look just like that). Instead, go change the lame song playing over the intercom.
I think there should be a new trend in naming gyms because what’s going on right now isn’t really working for me. They all have weird names, every one of them is something fitness: Planet Fitness, Lifestyle Family Fitness, LA Fitness (which I initially thought was a new Spanish gym, “ I’m just going to go to Banco Popular and then head over to La Fitness”). Why fitness anyway, it seems an odd choice of word? Fitness isn’t a place, but more the type of equipment that’s inside. I’m more a fan of places that stick to their roots; Gold’s Gym has the right idea. A gym is precisely what it is (I don’t really think it’s gold though).
What it makes me think/feel: Contaminated and healthy all at the same time. I’m just building up my immune system, just like eating a little dirt with your fruits and veggies.
And still a little like a superhero.
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