Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap your hands. I still refuse to believe there is a person inside the mascot costume (but now I at least go for more than the ice cream cone).
Things I like: They’re fun almost always, and being at them is far superior to just watching on TV. Mainly because when you watch on TV it is usually just as stressful and intense, however it isn’t publicly acceptable to scream at the top of your lungs, clap and stomp to a beat, cheer vulgar songs, and bang plastic tubes together. Unless you’re just home watching with the dog (but he’ll probably pee on your carpet because he’s so scared).
But really, acting insane is half the fun of being at a sporting event (the other half being the fact that you’re actually at a sporting event). You can just follow animal instincts and use loud sounds and body movements to deal with and express all of your emotions. I just hope people remember this behavior doesn’t translate well into other spheres of your life. Your boss will never think it’s funny when you BOOO a new client (even if he doesn’t make his free throws).
They’re also really the only place where it is encouraged to hate people who are different (at least the only place in which the president isn’t afraid to be a part of). Wearing a different jersey, the wrong hat? Good luck getting to your seat, it's like a whole new level of discrimination.
Things I would change: I could do without the fact that it gives dudes such a false sense of manhood, taking high fives to a whole new level, chest bumping, too much beer, etc. No, it’s not okay to throw peanuts at the guy three rows down. Even if you think you can take him. You wouldn’t see a guy a few seats over on the subway and start throwing paper balls from the New York Times at him. Even if he’s wearing a pink shirt!
Also, it’s a little embarrassing how desperate people act for a free T shirt (it’s going to be an extra large and will never shrink enough to fit you), or for a free ice cream or slice of pizza (you’re probably already enjoying some nachos anyway). You see people jumping up and down, waving their arms and screaming as if this one item will turn their misfortune around. If you are really that desperate for a giant white shirt, you probably should have saved the 12 dollars you spent on your nose bleed seats and bought your kids some rice.
There is always a lame person with a microphone and cheesy suit walking around the stadium/arena talking to fans and trying to get everyone pumped up. Or leading ridiculous games (I think I’d rather watch the commercials). You can totally tell he/she thinks (wants to believe) everyone is really cheering for them instead of the team (I’m sorry you never made the lacrosse team).
What it makes me think/feel: Always worried that someone is going to start the wave. It causes a lot of anxiety. I don’t want to stand up in the middle of a good play, and I don’t want everyone around me to stand up and block my view of the good play. Why do you always wait until the last 5 minutes of the game to try and start it? It’s always two dudes (the only two who actually haven’t been drinking, and really came to the game in hopes of “being the guys who started the wave”), and they won’t give it up. Let me just throw this out there, although you may think it looks cool, the players aren’t watching.
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